Recurring Dream #4

Last night I had one of my recurring dreams. Yes, I have recurring dreams, doesn't everyone? Apparently not, because when I ask the people that are close to me to tell one of their recurring dreams, they look at me like I'm some kind of nut.

I must be some kind of nut because I have a handful of recurring dreams. It's almost like my own Dream TV Channel, "Oh, what's on tonight?" And in a way, we go to sleep every night and although the TV might be on in the background, it's like the TV in our head turns on and you HAVE TO WATCH IT.

You have no choice.

And to make it worse, when it is one of my recurring dreams, it's like a re-run of an old series that alters ever so slightly here and ever so slightly there, but the main story STAYS THE SAME, like I'm in some kind of weird Twilight Zone episode.

Oh, yeah. So my dream. This one I've labeled #4: Home, Sweet Home. For the most part, it goes like this. I'm back in my childhood home, but I'm not a child. I'm all grown up, like I am now (well... I'll just leave it at that, ok?) My parents are there but they are in their 30's like they were when I was a child. So's my brother and sister, and all my friends -- they are all their appropriate ages for the time-period of this strange Marty McFly world, except me. The moron.

Why am I the moron? Because every time I have the #4 dream I never do anything. I don't do the kind of stuff I would do if this really happened to me, like buy all the Apple stock at $6 a share that I could or call Sylvia Stefel (the cute blonde in my P.E. class at Portola Jr. High -- I was too shy to talk to her in person, so I called her anonymously and told her I was her secret admirer -- another story for another time, I promise), or go to my old room and play my Roland Jupiter 6 synthesizer that I stupidly sold for a few hundred bucks in the 90's. No -- I don't do any of those cool and awesome Back-In-Time things.

I just sit there and watch everyone around me act normal.

So, why do I have this dream -- over and over again. I DO NOTHING. What is the point?

I think of this often, especially every morning that I wake up having Dream #4. I wish I had an answer to this. Do I want to go back to my childhood and relive it exactly as it was? Is my life today so awful and so uneventful that I yearn (dream, I guess) that I could go back?

We all seem to have an obsessive interest in time travel. Maybe that's it. Maybe I just want to go back and watch. So, I guess it is like my own YouTube Channel, but in my head. Ok, if I think of it like that, then that's pretty cool. I wonder what will be on my Dream Channel tonight!