It's a Hot Dog Passover (bun not included)

It's lunch time on the third day of Passover and once again I open the fridge to find the leftover survivors of the "chametz exodus". What's that, you say? No, not the Jews leaving Egypt after the 10th Plague as the story goes which we recite every Passover Seder, but the chametz exodus is rather the throwing away of perfectly good foods that you purchased with perfectly good money that have any resemblance (or any food product made from wheat, barley, rye, oats or spelt (don't ask me what 'spelt' is - I don't even wanna know) that has come into contact with water and been allowed to ferment and "rise") and at lunchtime that means no bread, buddy.

Don't get me wrong. I love matzah.

I look forward to it every year with some nice cream cheese or butter, or some charoset (another Passover tradition of nuts and crushed purple fruit -- this is a good one if it's done right). But I love it for one day, not eight days.

I'm not sure why the Jewish holidays are so long. When you're a kid you love Hanukkah. Eight days of candle-lighting and presents! But when you're the parent you're like, "Oiy, another present... ok, quick what can we wrap that can pass for a present?! Socks? More chocolate coins?"

Maybe it's because back then our ancestors didn't have much to do, except for wander the desert and build golden calf's. When I was growing up my father made it a tradition to go to all the neighborhood Chinese restaurants during Passover because it was easy to order the Beef with Broccoli and the Almond Chicken because there was no bread in it. My father was quick to tell the waiter - "No fortune cookies! It's Passover and we are Jews!" The Chinese waiter would answer, "Yes, Mr. Cohen" and then place the steaming hot plate of Shrimp Scampi on the lazy susan.

I have five more days. Or is it six. I don't know. Tomorrow I'll make my famous matzah-pizza. It's a bit crunchy, but all in all, it's not so bad. Besides the pepperoni and ham will spice it up for sure. And I really shouldn't complain. After all, I don't have to wander the desert or build a golden calf.